I’m FAT, I don’t know how to be slim again…
Those were the words I saw on her suicide note that laid on the bed while her body hung from the ceiling.
Days and weeks passed, I couldn’t cry, I couldn’t scream, I just kept staring at the ceiling and images of her body kept flashing like it was still there. I knew she was struggling but I didn’t know she had gotten to a suicidal point.
The thing is most people don’t know that a lady can be so confident in so many things but when it comes to her weight, her insecurities double and her self-esteem drops to its lowest point.
I know how many times, hours, days she had gone without food even when her body was screaming “hunger”. Drugs? Exercise? Prayer? Worry? Tears? Name it. She had done everything one can think of because people complained of how much weight she had gained over the years, how her clothes looked tight on her, how she wasn’t looking sleek and beautiful anymore. She put up an air of pride outside, but inside, her health mentally was disturbed, she was broken and torn apart.
These days, many people don’t start a conversation with “Hello”, “what’s up”. It is now common to hear, “you don fat oh” (you are now fat), “why are you looking like this, how did you gain so much weight?”. These words tamper with people’s emotions, it destabilizes them immediately. You don’t know what they go through, you don’t know how they’ve tried to make themselves look different, you don’t know if they don’t like themselves and at some point, they don’t need any negative statement it only makes them feel worse. Negative words as unserious as it may sound leads to depression and at the end suicide.
Suicide happens and the next thing people say is “Oh he/she would have spoken up, they didn’t have to do it, it’s shouldn’t have been the last resort”. Were you ready to listen? Did you for once not taunt them of how they looked? Some opinions are better left unsaid.
To people struggling, build yourself to the extent that you’d become comfortable in your own skin. The deal is, no matter how you look, people will find a reason to air their opinions on better ways you could be or act. Whether you are slim, fat, tall, short, fair, dark, everyone is entitled to their opinion, doesn’t mean you should take everyone’s opinion.
If you want to work on that weight (add/lose), work on it because you want to, work on it because it’s fun and you’d enjoy it. Don’t live your life on people’s comments. If you feel you love you the way you are, please rock it with pride, raise your confidence to 101%.
Be comfortable in your own skin.